MY BROTHER BORROWED MY SISTERS PHONE LAST NIGHT AND SHE WAS LOOKING THROUGH IT TODAY AND FOUND A POV PHOTO SHOWING A GIRL GIVING HIM A BLOW JOB
I NOW MY SISTER IS MAKING TRAUMA BROWNIES AND IM STILL LAUGHING
i have this friend, his name’s jamal, and when we were younger, he was obsessed with pokemon, and pretended he was a pokemon trainer. one time we saw this stray cat, and he pretended it was a pokemon, and tried to catch it, and somehow he actually managed to get a hold of it. his family’s had it ever since
now we call him “got a cat” jamal
Theory: Every year Balthazar infiltrates the Academy and forces them to pick someone else over Leonardo Dicaprio because he’s still mad about The Titanic.
I have head lizard.
- IS THAT
'Dad's on a hunting trip, and he hasn't been home in a few days'
“Harry witnessed Professor McGonagall walking right past Peeves, who was determinedly loosening a crystal chandelier, and could have sworn he heard her tell the poltergeist out of the corner of her mouth, ‘It unscrews the other way.’”
He’s just mad because he can’t acquire all the apple juice that I’m acquiring. (x)
how do you explain to people that you don’t hate them but like the thought of spending extended periods of time with them kind of makes you want to set yourself ablaze
when a guy walks past you and you catch a whiff of their cologne
when a guy walks past you and you catch a whiff of their Oscar
that gif is so usefUL